Failure

  I started taking final exams back in the third grade. It seemed pretty easy and I yearned for them to arrive, so I could boast about my perfect grades back home and to my friends. At that time, I believe I was too young or naive to understand the hype and stress around final exams. They seemed like just another test to me, so I put in the same amount of study that I would for normal school. It was the end of our final exams in 4th grade when I was on the bus, talking to a friend.

“How much did you score”, I asked him.

“It could have been much better. I practically blew my way into a B. I made too many silly mistakes. What about you?”, he replied. 

“A’s in every subject”, I proudly stated.

As the exams came and went, I would scoff at the papers exclaiming to my parents how easy they were. Regarding the exams, I had an extremely laid-back attitude with no extra study being put in other than the usual. I generally went down and enjoyed playing sports during the holidays we got between these exams, often studying for a meager 2-3 hours the day before one. I did not feel that things would change. After all, the same thing had been continuing for 3 years till then. However, fate has a funny way of ruining things when they same hunky-dory, and it seemed like my time had arrived. 

Soon enough, I learned the hard way, how tough were our finals. In the years after the beginning, my grades dropped to average instead of the good and excellent they usually were. All the beliefs, all motivations I once had went flying out the window, and any doubt that exams were supposed to be hard was blown out of my mind when I received my grades.

Studies then took the forefront of my mind, and this meant that the extracurricular activities in my life took a backseat. As time flew by, I began feeling wistful about the other parts of my life, and studies began becoming a burden on my mind. Nevertheless, I pushed forward, but this conscious effect of continuously doing studies began weighing me down. I started to fall behind in class in terms of assignments and participation, as I was so engrossed in my studies about the topic. After a point, I blew up and stopped studying for a couple of days. During this period I focused on having fun and enjoying as much as I could, and I could feel the positive effect it had on me. COVID allowed me to manage my time better, and it has become easier now. 

As I look back on those turbulent times, I feel thankful that I understood the importance of exams sooner rather than later. Had it been too late, it would have taken immense effort on my part to get back on track. Everyone experiences these periods of downfall in this twisted game we call life. What is imperative is that we take it into stride and move on from such an experience, making sure that such mistakes are not repeated again. However, from each loss, there is a learning which will allow me to get better for the next occurrence.